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Firebox (FB)
This is a CRITIQUE forum...Stoking and smoking poetry critiques. This is not a forum for the faint-hearted. It is strongly advised that you first post a poem in the On Track forum to get input prior to posting it here.Posting Rules: You may post 1 piece each day but you must post one thoughtful and substantial reply to at least one other writer here before posting your own poem.

(Moderator: Normpo)

Topics: 531
Posts: 4427

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 22

Subject / Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
Fascinatingly Different (Revised) 3rd Revision Abled differently, this child is a wonder, a source of delight to those who recognize her as unique. She holds the happiness others seek in vain,... Started Oct 20^th, 2006 at 11:32am by sunilmathur	12	134	Dec 5^th, 2006 at 6:45am By: sunilmathur
** love sick Cold words carry the sting of frostbite, a most intimate threat to tender flesh. Exposed to such mean treatment its healthy glow dims to shadow. Conflicted, love, turns chill<br /... Started Dec 30^th, 2009 at 7:27pm by peach	8	206	Jan 3^rd, 2010 at 6:36pm By: nas
Call Upon the Wind (please help with punctuation) [font=Verdana][color=Purple][i] I whisper to the trees to pass my word to the wind. Carry this message to my love on your currents high aloft. My cries to the night sky;<br... Started Sep 16^th, 2007 at 4:51am by Zaac	12	170	Apr 10^th, 2008 at 12:17am By: KerrinScott
What's Broken? This was offered in class to the prompt of the title "What's Broken"...no other requirements to the assignment. What's Broken? The ribs all down his right side ache just like a four-hole pun... Started Mar 2^nd, 2010 at 1:22pm by dericlee	13	123	Mar 20^th, 2010 at 2:18am By: Tim
Earning the Rank of Dad The story ends—though now he knows it really has just started. The truth has fin'ly been exposed. All lies have been discarded. And though a casualty he's not, can't help but feel retarded.... Started Feb 22^nd, 2006 at 4:53pm by Shawn_M._Roeder	5	55	Mar 31^st, 2006 at 10:50pm By: Shawn_M._Roeder
** time will tell Mourners, sink down on knees, assemble, stiff as knives, plunged into newly dug earth, Despair like a shawl hovering around them. Tears running down cheeks, <b... Started Jan 11^th, 2010 at 1:01pm by peach	5	126	May 15^th, 2011 at 1:30am By: peach
** Mother's Day She sits like this for hours, statue still perched at the edge of her bed, from the doorway the curve of her cheek, immersed in shadow, Across the room th... Started May 8^th, 2009 at 2:26pm by peach	4	152	Nov 3^rd, 2011 at 6:04am By: peach
Lunar Light Lunar Light Full moonlight glows just right when starlight twinkles dim and sunlight stares too bright. Artemis strolls at night when starlight is too thin, Apollo’s glar... Started Mar 21^st, 2008 at 7:55pm by Don (Ex Member)	7	10	Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am By: duetsdove - Ex Member
Troll Patrol (fantasy) Troll Patrol Have you seen a pet troll, which left on mole patrol into a snug foxhole? Often atop a pole it sleeps in a keyhole, or curled about a bowl. Be careful w... Started Dec 23^rd, 2007 at 3:51pm by Don (Ex Member)	10	62	Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am By: Don - Ex Member
I Do Remember Well I like this piece a lot, but i dont like the lines that say "when its a sunny day, like when you were here" The only other thing i want to know is if it flows well and the lines and stanzas make ... Started Mar 18^th, 2007 at 7:27pm by isaac (Ex Member)	6	69	Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am By: isaac - Ex Member
Tishrei 10 ( A Journal Entry) Tishrei 10 (A Journal Entry) Obedience obeys compulsion’s call to humbleness, humiliating pride, as sheepishly one blameless takes the fall to resurrect the hope that Deat... Started Jan 27^th, 2007 at 4:03pm by D. Allen Jenkins (Ex Member)	4	6	Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am By: D. Allen Jenkins - Ex Member
A NORMal Limerick A NORMal Limerick I’m friends with a poet named Norm who’s rather proficient with form. To read his free-verse is never a curse; perhaps one day I’ll conform! © D. Allen Jenkins Started Jan 22^nd, 2007 at 6:50pm by D. Allen Jenkins (Ex Member)	8	10	Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am By: Just_Daniel - Ex Member
Sun Mid-Night (A Villonnet) Sun Mid-Night (A Villonnet) If darkness ever came to know delight, would sorrow cease? Would joy, perchance, become the desperado’s goal as he rides t’ward the everlasting... Started Jan 18^th, 2007 at 5:10am by D. Allen Jenkins (Ex Member)	4	2	Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am By: D. Allen Jenkins - Ex Member
NOSTALGIA A very old piece, more than thirty years old. It's also posted in Fast Track Nostalgia Little bits and pieces of memory come to fill the thesis on you and me. ... Started Jan 17^th, 2007 at 10:04am by writer (Ex Member)	5	2	Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am By: percephanie - Ex Member
Hooked - Revised 1/7/07 Hooked - Revision #1 thanks for the help, Scotty I took one sip of you and gasped then drained the rest in one long gulp. I hold my empty glass in t... Started Jan 7^th, 2007 at 9:06pm by writer (Ex Member)	5	7	Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am By: Normpo
Ponderings of a Pneumatic Puncher (Revised) [b]I found this one buried in my files, and thought I'd pull it out for some fresh perspective. I don't recall if I ever posted this here initially, but if I did I've tried to play with it a little... Revision Started Jan 5^th, 2007 at 9:54pm by D. Allen Jenkins (Ex Member)	5	39	Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am By: Normpo
a scent of yesteryear a scent of yesteryear Sweet rose of summer, stirring love and dreams but weeks ago, stands witchy now, stripped stark of all her petals, leaves… mere thorny bark remains to cast a ... Started Jan 3^rd, 2007 at 6:01pm by Just_Daniel (Ex Member)	6	4	Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am By: Just_Daniel - Ex Member
Whose Head Whose Head Is that you swinging the porchlight? Where does the echo of your footsteps stop? .........You can’t be in every room at once, or break quietly into my skull to peer through its socke... Started Dec 30^th, 2006 at 10:26pm by James_AL_Midgley (Ex Member)	2	7	Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am By: azurepoetry - Ex Member
EH? BE Normal? Si! ~ rustic sonnet ~ REVISED 01/03 [size=3]EH? BE Normal? Si ! A thing cain't be repeated twice… until ya says it first a second time... but then who listens to my babblin' on... [size=1]© MLee Dickens'son 04 April 2006 Original: Title: Eh? Be Normal? L12 ~ [i]so's all yer gl Started Dec 27^th, 2006 at 7:12pm by Just_Daniel (Ex Member)	11	19	Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am By: Normpo
This Is It bells are ringing for the wedding thoughts are screaming palms are sweating getting ready to say "I do" wondering if this is right for you walking up to ta... Started Dec 27^th, 2006 at 4:08am by jearu (Ex Member)	8	22	Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am By: Brique - Ex Member
Before That... (Revision of "But First..." from 12/19/06) I'm wondering if something so simple as changing 'but first...' to 'before that...' makes a difference. Before That... They came for him on Tuesday and they brought him home from War.... Started Dec 23^rd, 2006 at 8:14pm by writer (Ex Member)	6	60	Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am By: writer - Ex Member
Empty Lap (Revised) Empty Lap (Revision II) We had an understanding; you wanted to stay, I didn’t want you to go. Nightly we shared these desires through purrs and ear scratchings while y... Started Dec 15^th, 2006 at 5:42am by D. Allen Jenkins (Ex Member) « Pages 1 2 »	19	28	Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am By: D. Allen Jenkins - Ex Member
Laid to Rest (Revised II) Revision II I lost you in August -- my hand too small to contain the wellspring of an ocean with its caress of navel and bloom. It was warm that day, sunny; I ... Started Aug 15^th, 2007 at 9:22pm by duetsdove (Ex Member) « Pages 1 2 3 »	30	2	Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am By: duetsdove - Ex Member
Taste Yourself in This Taste Yourself in This If you dissolve my words into your heart, like crystals they'd reflect some part of me. The glinting sun would have us squint, apart. With younger lack of in... Started Feb 23^rd, 2007 at 3:11am by Normpo	3	5	Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am By: Normpo
Life Life, mortal life is a tide that touches fleetingly the shores of Time. With force and vigor it arrives; leaping, surging, bouncing, frolicsome and noisy; puts up a... Started Feb 16^th, 2007 at 4:28pm by sunilmathur (Ex Member)	11	2	Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am By: sunilmathur - Ex Member

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