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Rick
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Re: Aletheia
Reply #5 - Aug 2nd, 2015 at 1:10pm
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Firstly, thank you for introducing me to a Goddess I didn't know existed.

I like this.  However I feel that "a virgin am and virgin shall remain" could work better if shortened to "a virgin shall remain". The first part of the line threw me each time I read it and is, I feel, unnecessary.

  
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Thoth
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Re: Aletheia
Reply #4 - Feb 13th, 2012 at 11:25am
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Hello Terrence

Pleased to meet you and many thanks for calling and commenting.

Quote:
it seems to me that your last two lines contradict what the poem is saying, or at least your explanation of it. If humanity is always seeking truth yet never truly finding it, then the children would never be conceived.
To keep more in line with your explanation, you could add "briefly" to one of those last 4 lines. Unfortunately, that then introduces a fallacy regarding the children, which are permanent.


Not at all, since "Truth" is only attained in death, the concept becomes spiritual in nature, not a worldly literal attribute.

Cheers Wally
  
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Re: Aletheia
Reply #3 - Feb 12th, 2012 at 3:17am
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Hi, it seems to me that your last two lines contradict what the poem is saying, or at least your explanation of it. If humanity is always seeking truth yet never truly finding it, then the children would never be conceived.
To keep more in line with your explanation, you could add "briefly" to one of those last 4 lines. Unfortunately, that then introduces a fallacy regarding the children, which are permanent.

I like your poem though and accept some poetic licence.

Terence
  
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Thoth
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Re: Aletheia
Reply #2 - Jan 11th, 2012 at 8:43am
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Hello Nas

Thank you for your learned comments. The interpretation was correct (although somewhat doubted) and I'm pleased that in your opinion, the chosen "voice" fitted.

The intention was to convey the thought that although we strive to seek the truth all our lives, our mortality prevents us from attaining it completely. There is always an element of deception or illusion involved in our knowledge. (Perhaps imagination is to blame)

Near-death experience reveals an amazing clarity and simplification of the universe. Sadly this fades on return and only the experience itself retained.

I will consider those suggestions posed thank you.

Cheers,

Wally
« Last Edit: Jan 11th, 2012 at 8:54am by Thoth »  
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Re: Aletheia
Reply #1 - Jan 11th, 2012 at 6:39am
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Hi Thoth

Intriguing poem and I think the old style language works well. I don't know much about Aletheia other than she was the Goddess of truth and in some ways I wanted to see more of who she was in this poem.  Is it only in the death of mankind that anyone can look upon her face and take her virginity?

A few thoughts

Quote:
Behold,
humanity hath cast away its youth in my desire  <<--I don't really understand this line; what it is your trying to say
and seeketh yet my hand,
even unto the grave.

I, Aletheia,
a virgin am and virgin shall remain
‘til time be done
for none sired by Man
may draw my veil
and gaze in awe upon my face.

When chill of death becreeps his veins,
only then,
shall mankind kiss my naked lips  <<--do you need "naked"?
and wed my body with his mind  <<--is it with his mind or to his mind?
that I may conceive of him <<--do you need "of him"?
sweet children of knowledge.
  
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Thoth
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Aletheia
Jan 9th, 2012 at 8:23pm
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Behold,
humanity hath cast away its youth in my desire
and seeketh yet my hand,
even unto the grave.

I, Aletheia,
a virgin am and virgin shall remain
‘til time be done
for none sired by Man
may draw my veil
and gaze in awe upon my face.

When chill of death becreeps his veins,
only then, 
shall mankind kiss my naked lips
and wed my body with his mind
that I may conceive of him
sweet children of knowledge.
« Last Edit: Jan 10th, 2012 at 2:29pm by Thoth »  
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