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Terence
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Re: Vincent
Reply #6 - Oct 30th, 2011 at 7:48pm
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nas, this is also a reference to his "Starry Night" painting, with the first stanza addressing the sky and the second, the land. I don't find the land part of his painting as vibrant or visually as strong as the sky, that's why this came across that way.

Thanks, David, I'll have to think about that change.

Terence
  
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Re: Vincent
Reply #5 - Oct 30th, 2011 at 4:26pm
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Terence,
Excellent!  My only suggestion would be to replace "dwarf" with "diminish" in the last line.  Take it or leave it, that just sounds better to me.
~Davidf
  
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Terence
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Re: Vincent
Reply #4 - Oct 16th, 2011 at 12:28am
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Thanks, nas, I will consider your suggestions.

  
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nas
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Re: Vincent
Reply #3 - Oct 11th, 2011 at 5:19am
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I think you have captured well the manic creativity of Van Gogh, in the first verse.  The second verse isn't as strong and visual

I did wonder if you need "passionately" in line 2 since the frenzy of inspiriration has been well shown.

I like "motion and emotion unwound".

Maybe a comma after unenlightened.
  
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Terence
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Re: Vincent
Reply #2 - Oct 10th, 2011 at 3:57am
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Terry,

Thank you for your comment, I know it is difficult to critique something like this particularly when the inspiration is not evident. The poem is about van Gogh AND Starry Night so your interpretation is spot on, which I am grateful to see.

Terence
  
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Terry
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Re: Vincent
Reply #1 - Oct 9th, 2011 at 11:44pm
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Terence,

Quite a picture is painted here of the birth of a concept to be put to canvas by an artist in the throes of supreme inspiration, who perhaps
races ahead of himself seeking the gratification that can only be
acheived by strokes of the brush and only ceaseses on canvas but never
in the mind.

I really enjoyed this and I hope my interpretation is not to far from your
intent.   

Terry



  
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Terence
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Vincent's Night
Oct 6th, 2011 at 8:48pm
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Vincent's Night

inspiration screams through tangled neurons
passionately exploding in brilliant torrents
of dance on the blue-black canvas of the mind.
whirling, twirling whorls of timeless aeons -
creation - swirling as a single turbulent current,
a continuum of motion and emotion unwound ---

falling unheeded on the unenlightened
slumbering in their cozy perceptions
of what they think their life should be
as only the artist himself, unthreatened,
reaches for infinite aspirations
that dwarf an infinitesimal humanity.
« Last Edit: Dec 27th, 2011 at 3:24am by Terence »  
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