Hi Peach
My initial reaction, is that this poem feels very preachy and all tell with little show
Quote:isolated,
wrapped in plastic
and cellophane lives, <<--isn't cellophane plastic?
desensitized, pasteurized,
homogenized, sterilized
Lives,
isolated, wrapped in cellophane,
desensitized....
to deny the inclusion of lesser forms of life <<--surely by saying "lesser forms of life" is in itself prideful and patronising. Aren't you doing exactly what you are asking everyone not to do?
a prideful, particularly selfish
human trait,
time to burst the bubble, shake open awareness, <<--burst the bubble is quite a cliched image
travel outside the atmosphere
of ones own skin
risk stepping into each and every nuance
sense with newly acquired antennae
swim inside detail, project as a trumpet,
fly as a float of flutes,
hear sunlight crack, heft the weight of childlike glee,
conduct an opera of yowling felines
defuse a riot of honeybees
break-up a conspiracy of storm clouds
watch snow heap into gangs
collapse beneath a maelstrom of hate
shrivel in envy, smell how bad scorched love stinks, <<--how does shrivelling in envy help? Who is to say scorched love stinks and if you taste passion, then you have to risk being scorched and hurt
taste passion, extinguish insensitivity, revive sentiment
let fingertips snap, heart strings slap, clap as rain
tap dances and the wind tickles and teases
your consciousness,
learn that color, as sound do not need permission,
to be... <<-- all of this feels like one great long list of being told what one should do.
do not try to deny their existence,
by turning away,
do not smother their vibrance,
because they make you feel pale
and dull by comparison,
roam inside the drumming
of a soul, stammer with ecstasy,
discard the blinders, extract the earplugs
open bindings, too rigidly conformed
tumble into a new beginning,
let go...