As I was reading your poem, time and time again I imagined a vivid image of a person in whatever context I read.
In the first stanza this is very important, for it establishes an undertone that reflects on the entire poem. That being said, your first stanza clearly defines the mood and accomplishes its duty!

The rest of the poem, to me, there should be an element of readability for us readers to understand what you're saying in a vague sense, rather than being specific. Therefore, commonly used words that define the subject, like "A" or "The", work to establish the legibility of the poem, the grammatical correctness, but take away from the flow of the poem and the emphasis you might want to place on other words, words that actually sound better without saying "The" in front of them.


"The emptiness of life becomes a vacuum
The TV’s on but only for the sound
I try to read but immersion escapes me
I try to sleep but slumber can’t be found"

The reason I want to focus on this stanza is because it is the general feeling that is conveyed throughout the poem. These lines encapsulate your mood in a little hotel room, which is awesome. Seriously.

Take a look at this one line.
"The TV’s on but only for the sound"
When you read this line aloud, and then transversely read the line as such,
"TV's on, but only for the sound"
it's almost as if the line has gained character. Which every line must do, in it's own way, to achieve the look and sound of it's own general character. 
Plus it also helps me to write, so even if you don't like the sound of it you can mix and mold words, string them together and break them down. 

Then below it (I know Lin also said something about this) you have the repetition. My take on this would be to scrap the second "I try" and replace it with a connection between the two lines.
Something grammatical that allows for a smoother reading.

The emptiness of life becomes a vacuum
TV’s on, but only for the sound
I try to read but immersion escapes me; <------ semi-colon
To sleep but slumber can’t be found

I feel that using the semicolon is more effective than people give it credit for (with the exception of people who give it credit). Along with significantly improved readability, it keeps the flow and doesn't come across as a significant poetical device, even though it is. 

I hope you're not disappointed that this was more structural criticism than anything else. Really I did enjoy the poem and found it easy to relate to. Sometimes we all feel trapped in a hotel room, even though we're in a large open field. And when you think deeper of what a hotel room is, you consider how your room at home makes you feel in comparison. A hotel room is filled with items that you are not familiar with, yet adjust to. It would sure as hell make me introspective and think about how freaking big the world is and how many people are on this planet that they have millions of hotels worldwide, with similar, mundane rooms like this one, where thousands of people before have slept. Whereas, at home, in my room, I couldn't care less about any of that. The whole world, were it in my bedroom, would be fine by me.

Rick -
Somber but beautiful, leaving the piece with a soft finish of the final stanza. 

In my read I found only one item you may want to look again at.   

The sequential lines:

I try to read but immersion escapes me
I try to sleep but slumber can’t be found

Instead of repeating "I try to", perhaps use "Attempt to" in one or the other.  For instance:

I try to read but immersion escapes me
Attempt to sleep but slumber can’t be found

It gets rid of the redundancy, and delivers the thought.

I like the feel of the hotel room in the first stanza.  It puts the reader exactly in the point of view.

Best,
Lin