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Normal Topic 2017 day 5 (Read 128 times)
sierra
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Re: 2017 day 5
Reply #2 - Nov 27th, 2017 at 4:06pm
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I'm surprised you thought this one was a keeper, but I'm glad you said so, anyway!  There are a few things that annoy me about it, but you did mention some other things that sort of give comfort to those annoyances!
  
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Normpo
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Re: 2017 day 5
Reply #1 - Nov 26th, 2017 at 2:40pm
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So far --- I think this is the best of this run!! You use personification as a tool to humanize nature ("mob of leaves," Nature nudge,"like a voice that sings."  And I love what I would call a "re-capitulation of purpose" with the LEAVES in the first line and SHADEs in the final line.   

IMO --- This is a real keeper!

Norm
  
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sierra
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2017 day 5
Nov 17th, 2017 at 6:43pm
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Today I was confronted by a mob of leaves,
my life story straying off branches, pages
words begging Mother Nature nudge them
just a little, give
them golden wings
bring to life their purpose
like a voice that sings to die,
dies to sing,
so vulnerable
to shades of sky.
  
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