Sorry - about the poem itself ... 

For three long days we played our fateful game
with hunter and the hunted trading roles.
Our aim, the price of victory we’d claim
to satisfy the nature of our souls.

Nice rhyming there.

Yet victory has no real champion
when pride is motivation for success
and honor in the moment is forgone,
forsaking all traditions of noblesse.

Is there one too many syllables in that last line? It seems that way, when I read it aloud.


Courageous beast, were that your heart be mine,
I envy your magnificence in death.
Your mighty strength showed no sign of decline,
‘twas providence that brought your final breath.

That's the beauty of being an animal - they analyze nothing - they feel what they feel, without thinking about it. 

'Twas a good thought though.

I dreamt of lions playing on the beach
but innocence can not transcend death’s reach.

The last two lines, the crowning glory of this poem, Terence.

(This was based on the themes of Ernest Hemingway's "The Old Man and the Sea".)

 

Terence,

I just re-read "Old Man and Sea" again after perhaps 40 years. I had forgotten what a wonderful story of courage and determination that was. 

Thanks for making me do that!!!

I see now where you got the inspiration for the poem, but in Hemmingway's story it was football team who were the lions on the beach.

I shall ponder on this for a while and perhaps come up with some suggestions now that I know where you are headed.

Cheers

Wally

Hello Terence
A nice sonnet with a good classic flavour and technically well composed.
I do have some problems with following the story and the meaning of the content offered. 

S1 is really great and sets up the scene and activity. This could be the live situation of a hunter and predator seriously stalking one another but the title suggests it is a only game. That lead me to suppose that there is a metaphore involved and the “Lions “ were young boys playing a hunting game.

S2 elabourates on the ethics involved but actually adds nothing of value to the image in place since it is already adequately declared in S1
“Our aim, the price of victory we’d claim
to satisfy the nature of our souls.”

Quote:


However, I’m more inclined now to the game scenario because pride is involved and “Yet victory has no real champion.” BTW I have never heard of real lions inhabiting beaches.

S3 is an ode to the lion, for who’s character the narrator has great respect and admiration. I don’t follow the second couplet as the implication is that the lion actually died so this contradicts S2

The closing couplet repeats the title but L14 while implying feelings of guilt, sheds no further light so I’m left puzzled to what the real message of the poem is.

I hope these comments are useful

Cheers,

Wally

Terence,
I enjoyed this very much.  My only suggestion would be to use another word for noble, since you have the word noblesse in the previous line, and I gather they are similar in meaning.  Other than that, I say "Bravo!" on a splendid poem.
~Davidf