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diehard
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Trekkies, all
Reply #10 - Feb 25th, 2007 at 10:30pm
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The Journey Itself 
 
The journey’s the heart and the soul of the trek; 
the place where you’re you are going’s but just part of the pleasure. 
You You'll never get there?  well, it won’t be a wreck; 
what goes on The gold in the going to get there is really the treasure. 
So stop and enjoy it.  Get lost… what the heck! 
Be rescued while sinking in up to your neck; 
meet folks ‘long the way… doing things you’ve not done 
before in your life?  Maybe life's just begun! 
 
© MLee Dickens'son, rev. 24 Feb 2006 


Not easy for me to "critique" something I like, but here's an effort -- up to my nekk in the trekk.
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Just_Daniel
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Reply #9 - Feb 24th, 2007 at 9:58pm
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Okay, you two... 

here's a reminder for us oldies:


It's my revision of a huitain that I wrote in 2005 but never quite liked, as it stood then...

so note that it kinda defies the 8 or 10 syllable 'rule of thumb' that I posted above... and crit is welcome!


The Journey Itself

The journey’s the heart and the soul of the trek;
the place where you’re going’s but part of the pleasure.
You never get there?  well, it won’t be a wreck;
what goes on to get there is really the treasure.
So stop and enjoy it.  Get lost… what the heck!
Be rescued while sinking in up to your neck;
meet folks ‘long the way… doing things you’ve not done
before in your life?  Maybe life's just begun!


© MLee Dickens'son, rev. 24 Feb 2006
  
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diehard
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Re: Huitain
Reply #8 - Feb 24th, 2007 at 8:40pm
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can i get that on barnes and ignoble?
  
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Normpo
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Re: Huitain
Reply #7 - Feb 24th, 2007 at 8:35pm
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diane,

"cahins" as described in the Normpo dictionary of terms for underground poets (also known as the dead poet's society ha!) is (and I quote) --- "the poetic acrobatic form of the word 'chains" to better describe the functionality of the links that make up the chain -- like the presentation suggests, the inter-weaving and interlocking of the letters is the purest depiction of the object itself.

You must always make reference to the "Normpo dictionary of terms for underground poets" before challenging a Norm spelling error.

Makes sense right?

Norm
  
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diehard
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Re: Huitain
Reply #6 - Feb 24th, 2007 at 8:28pm
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Wait, shmate ... you WROTE this dincha' huh?   huh?  So there! The "cahins" of strict from can free you

Nahh.
It just linked itseff to me somehow. (wot's a cahin, anyway? hee hee)

Thanks for the "OUR age" remark. Coming up Tuesday, I'll have 7 years on ye, my chile. Yikes, does that sound terribul.

You're right about loosening the lobelets in our brains, though, and getting out of the strict prose path now and then helps. These little cahins you're talking about are EXcellent EXercise, especially when the cells want to get grayer by the day.
Love ye.

Oh. Ask Keith about Weebles when you get to it. Roll Eyes
  
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Normpo
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Re: Huitain
Reply #5 - Feb 24th, 2007 at 8:19pm
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diane,

Wait, shmate ... you WROTE this dincha'??? huh?   huh?  So there!  The "cahins" of strict from can free you, girl!

Just funnin' ya' --- I write an equal amount of free verse and strict form --- I find joy and freedom in BOTH. I feel the brain gets more exercise when my muse directs me to a form --- and at OUR age, we truly need to give those lobes inside our cranium a little more exercise than free verse provides ... that's MY opinion, anyway.

This was good  --- and a good response.

Norm
  
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diehard
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Re: Huitain
Reply #4 - Feb 24th, 2007 at 7:42pm
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In response to Norm's Huitain (posted elsewhere):
Quote:
I'm free enough so that I'm bound 
and I am able to expound 
how I'm tied to poetic forms. 
Some feel restrained, like rope is wound 
about their muse, so tight around 
it chokes...they feel they can't perform. 
Trussed? They should their minds release; 
strict forms like this could bring them peace



Here's mine:

You’re free so as to be unbound 
and very able to expound 
how you prefer poetic form 
but those restraints I feel are not 
the ropes that make my shy muse knot;
instead the hesitance I’ve got
relates to too much caution. Let the   
daring ones go first. I’ll wait. That’s me.
  
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Just_Daniel
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splendid sleeper...
Reply #3 - Feb 16th, 2007 at 12:11am
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... and I'm pleased that you found this forum too, Sasha.  Beautiful piece!!

deLighting in your participation, Daniel  8)
  
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Re: Huitain
Reply #2 - Feb 15th, 2007 at 10:00pm
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I'm so glad I found this forum...thank you Daniel



Melt

She poured herself as liquid gold
Within the aching folds of night
to trickle warm ‘pon bitter cold
to melt the slice of winters breath
She danced as flame within his sight
a fire that whispered from the deep
their secret love then took to flight 
within the breathing kiss of sleep

© Sasha '06
  
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Just_Daniel
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un huitain enlace...
Reply #1 - Feb 12th, 2007 at 4:29pm
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oughta go audio

I think I must hook up a mike
to find out what my reading’s like
and see if I maintain the pace
that I envision… Does it spike
where I intend or merely strike
a placid, bland huitain enlace ?
What follows having audio?
a twisted arm in video?


© MLee Dickens’son 11 Feb 2007
« Last Edit: Feb 16th, 2007 at 12:09am by Just_Daniel »  
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Just_Daniel
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Huitain
Feb 12th, 2007 at 2:48am
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Huitain is a French verse form of an 8-line stanza with 8 or 10 syllables in each line, often iambic. It is written with three rhymes, one utilized twice (in four lines). The form evidently was popular in France in the 15th and early 16th centuries with such poets as François Villon and Clément Marot.

There are many variations in rhyme scheme, such as ababbcbc and abbaacac, so almost any combination of three rhymes with one used twice is acceptable.  

Un huitain enlace is an enclosed huitain which has a rhyme scheme: aabaabcc.


Here are two examples of my own more laid-back version of un huitain enlace:


Huitain Puzzle

Some poets are hobbled with stricture;
but pacing yourself can help pick your
precisely-voiced sound in the words.
huitains could again be a fixture;
you’ve eight lines for painting a picture
restored from French countryside sherds.
So piece them together with patience,
if only to rid your frustrations.

© MLee Dickens'son 31 Jan 2005


it’shuit to be a cat

An outside cat can make a mess
inside your house, it seems, unless
you let it out each time it asks
to run about and more or less
do what it wants. Then it will bless
its servant, in whose smile it basks;
so long as there’s sufficient food
and room to rest… all will be good.

© MLee Dickens'son 08 March 2004


Now... enjoy experimenting with the form.  Maybe we can revive it!
« Last Edit: Sep 15th, 2009 at 11:45am by Just_Daniel »  
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