PoemTrain - Trees In November and Ironic Epilogue

Change Template:

Choose Language:

PoemTrain › Writer's Depot › On Track (OT) › Trees In November and Ironic Epilogue

(Moderators: Prose, Normpo)

‹ Previous Topic | Next Topic ›

Pages: 1

Send Topic

Trees In November and Ironic Epilogue (Read 107 times)

pandatronic Topic Starter Full Member Offline Posts: 370 Location: Manchester Joined: Jul 26^th, 2005	Re: Trees In November and Ironic Epilogue Reply #2 - Dec 30^th, 2006 at 5:18pm	Print Post
	Quote: pandatronic I am not so sure the "truth is beauty" guy (keats) would approve of the twist, I didn't think he would, either! but I like it a lot. I like the the reps as a tecnique and as part of the message itself... linked with that, a nit I have is that the title is too cryptic (even esoteric). I think the title should either "point" to the reps or the "lies" (even though S2 is about your season and trees). The idea was that I promise to write this desciptive nature poem in the title, but I don't, and instead I write a poem about how I can't write descriptive nature poems. And the epilogue is about how I'm a bad writer (or at least the voice is), and how nature poems in the Romantic sense are a bit silly. I'm not saying I've never felt awed by the majesty of nature, but it's not a common occurrence, and mostly I feel quite estranged from it. I also think "Epilog" would be enough of an introduction to your finale. I also like the the recapitulation from the L1 beauty salon to the beauty line at poem's end (all the mor reason why I'd like the title to me more directive). I was trying to be funny. The idea is that I'm supposed to shut up at the end of the poem, but then I add something else I like this and I'm not sure (yet) what your poetic voice is --- whether this represents your style or it is one of your many voices. I, for one, write in so many voices, you'd think I am a choir LOL. I'll look for more. Norm Thanks very much Norm
	« Last Edit: Dec 30^th, 2006 at 6:30pm by pandatronic »

	IP Logged

Normpo Forum Administrator Offline Posts: 10839 Joined: Aug 2^nd, 2003	Re: Trees In November and Ironic Epilogue Reply #1 - Dec 30^th, 2006 at 2:42pm	Print Post
	pandatronic I am not so sure the "truth is beauty" guy (Keats) would approve of the twist, but I like it a lot. I like the the reps as a technique and as part of the message itself... linked with that, a nit I have is that the title is too cryptic (even esoteric). I think the title should either "point" to the reps or the "lies" (even though S2 is about your season and trees). I also think "Epilog" would be enough of an introduction to your finale. I also like the the recapitulation from the L1 beauty salon to the beauty line at poem's end (all the mor reason why I'd like the title to me more directive). I like this and I'm not sure (yet) what your poetic voice is --- whether this represents your style or it is one of your many voices. I, for one, write in so many voices, you'd think I am a choir LOL. I'll look for more. Norm
	« Last Edit: Dec 30^th, 2006 at 6:47pm by Normpo »

	IP Logged

pandatronic Topic Starter Full Member Offline Posts: 370 Location: Manchester Joined: Jul 26^th, 2005	Trees In November and Ironic Epilogue Dec 30^th, 2006 at 9:32am	Print Post
	Trees In November It's like a hair salon and I'm the plastic-clad temp with brooms on my shoes. One more month and they'll be right in season - the thin, black season. It seems self-conscious, yet you don't notice - unless you're looking. I'm not looking, I'm lost. It's like some fancy shop, they look at you funny. They do look at you funny, and to think - some people dig this; they write stuff about it, like I'm doing - oh, better stop then. The Ironic Epilogue to Trees In November All you do is make pretty little things do pretty little things, to prove something that's pretty little, in the scheme of things. Or suggest things, because you can't prove them with anything, let alone pretty things. All I'm doing is suggesting something with repetitive things, for example. If beauty is truth, these words are lies.


	IP Logged

Pages: 1

Send Topic

‹ Previous Topic | Next Topic ›

« Board Index ‹ Board Top