I'm glad, then that Jess has been placed on your heart.  That may well be an indication that she'll be in touch with you -- when I trust that you'll share this with her.

deLighting in your recovery and the courage to share it, Daniel  8)

Greetings, j!

Just a few 'editorial' notes for you to consider ?

jearu wrote on Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am:

... and if it's a current friend, I trust you or she is visiting the rooms where other friends can help her/you rid the friendship... since you indicate that you're speaking through this narrator with first-hand experience either through or with your friend.

shedding a bit o' Light, Daniel  8)

jearu wrote on Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am:


oops, didn't read the inspiration bit properly...

I like the use of rhyme in this poem, and I agree it flows very well.

You can tell that this is someone imagining addiction rather than a confessional piece, though.

Still pretty accomplished as a poem.

nas, much appreciated.  Like I'd said, it was kind of a rough draft, and I do like the input.

I couldn't think of an alternative to "thing" either.

I tried "witness" but I wanted to play upon the wording for being captured in such a thing as addiction.

I tried "down so low", but it didn't sound right to me at the time, but it's nice that someone else thought it as well.

Replace "as" with anything?


j.

This thing I have, it has a name,
it always wants to play a game.
I stay to either win or lose,
indifference makes it hard to choose.
For what will be my fate today,
when I decide to sit and play
the waiting game of life or death?
What day will capture my last breath?
Joining in brings me far down low,
rides both sides of friend and foe;
gives me pleasure, brings me pain
yet everything just feels the same.
It's my master and I'm its slave,
my road to hell has been well paved,
for now my habits refuse to budge.
Whom but God will be my judge?
It leaves my soul to bleed full dry,
defines the lack of will to try.
No other names own this affliction,
it is simply called addiction.





Inspiration:  I was relaxing at home after a long day's work, and I started thinking about a friend of mine whom I hadn't seen in years.  She and I were into all the really bad things easially impressionable young adults shouldn't have been into, and this poem sorta just unfolded in my mind.  I posted it before I could do any more damage to it.


j.