Greetings, J.
I'm very sorry for the departure of your friend and for the negative memories that you have, mixed with the struggles of your care for this brother. There is a great deal of difference between recognizing your
real guilt in what you might have better done or left undone in your relationship with him, and
responsibility for how your friend ended up responding or reacting to the forces around him. I can, however, join you in your grieving his loss and encouraging you to continue to be sensitive in your sharing your care to those around you.
Just a few notes for you to consider, in a piece that's difficult to critique because of the feelings interlaced. However, I'm looking at a piece that appears to be attempting to be a rhyming form with a consistent structure. I'll treat it as your intention:
Quote:Saying To say I
never didn't like
d you never meant I didn't care
[,] but now you've died and it's too late for me
to try
and to clear the air.
I'm sorry for
all the things I'd said and done
to that cause
d you pain.
I'm sorry for
all the things in this the struggles in your world
that caused you undue strain.
I never tried to be your friend or tried to understand
[;] I wish you'd found a better way to
answer face the call of life's demand.
I never tried to love you as
siblings a sib in Christ should do
[;] instead
I'd done all the I see I did some spiteful things
to make that made life hard for you.
With every tear that falls
from my eyes is I feel a word I wouldn't say.
I'd tried to express my regret from this I've struggled to express my grief from this... but you still went away.
I wish I had
your forgiveness
-- yours -- for all the harm I'd done.
I thought I'd beat
(en) you
each and every time --
[ beaten implies physical beating, methinks ]
but Brett, you've
finally sadly won.
attempting to shed a bit o' Light, Daniel 8)
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To Brett Hauberg (Read 329 times)
