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Hot Topic (More than 10 Replies) Out of It (which has u and I in it) (Read 409 times)
Normpo
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Re: Out of It (which has u and I in it)
Reply #16 - Apr 28th, 2021 at 9:59pm
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Just bumping this up because I feel nostalgic today about how PoemTrain has been hibernating so long...I miss he the word play. Where has everybody gone? (sigh)
  
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Paul Sands
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Re: Out of It (which has u and I in it)
Reply #15 - Jan 16th, 2011 at 6:11pm
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I love the wordplay and don't find it gimmicky at all. Definitely a piece I feel would be even better when seen performed
« Last Edit: Jan 16th, 2011 at 6:19pm by Paul Sands »  
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peach
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Re: Out of It (which has u and I in it)
Reply #14 - Jan 13th, 2011 at 12:14am
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I may be way off track here, but I get a sense of extreme shock, sadness and tragedy, as someone in or affected by the accident as an observer in the direct response team taking in the scene OR revisiting the site as in a memorial, a survivor, relative, when thoughts can come fragmented and contain a stab of irony.

« Last Edit: Jan 13th, 2011 at 12:19am by peach »  
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Normpo
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Re: Out of It (which has u and I in it)
Reply #13 - Mar 7th, 2006 at 5:06pm
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Cyn,

Okay --- we have an astute reader in our midst. YES, there is a touch (there's that ouch word in there again) of wickedness in this one ... since you opened the door, be bold -- it's not THAT wicked when the right words are chosen to explain.... I say, offer it up.  Erotic metaphors are allowed if not read aloud. Hmmm, there's a poem in that homonym, isn't there?

Norm
« Last Edit: Mar 7th, 2006 at 5:08pm by Normpo »  
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Cyn
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Re: Out of It (which has u and I in it)
Reply #12 - Mar 3rd, 2006 at 1:01am
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Your poem is very clever Norm, just like you  Kiss

It is also just a little bit wicked, but I don't know you well enough to make a crack about that  Grin
  
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Normpo
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Re: Out of It (which has u and I in it)
Reply #11 - Mar 3rd, 2006 at 12:16am
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[quote author=Cyn  link=1141257173/0#10 date=1141342426]IOU1 [/quote]

And the latter, of course, has an "ou" in it (as in the shortened version of "ouch">> and left out of "course" ...

Personally, I thought my poem had a nice touch (but, that too, has an "ouch" in it) ... as does "Touché"

Norm

« Last Edit: Apr 28th, 2021 at 9:56pm by Normpo »  
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Cyn
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Re: Out of It (which has u and I in it)
Reply #10 - Mar 2nd, 2006 at 11:33pm
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IOU1
  
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Tim
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Re: Out of It (which has u and I in it)
Reply #9 - Mar 2nd, 2006 at 10:48pm
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i don't think that band as anything to do with this.
  
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Cyn
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Re: Out of It (which has u and I in it)
Reply #8 - Mar 2nd, 2006 at 10:40pm
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u 2?
« Last Edit: Mar 2nd, 2006 at 10:40pm by Cyn »  
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Tim
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Re: Out of It (which has u and I in it)
Reply #7 - Mar 2nd, 2006 at 10:25pm
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Don't forget the (and I) Cyn.  Smiley
  
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Cyn
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Re: Out of It (which has u and I in it)
Reply #6 - Mar 2nd, 2006 at 10:18pm
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O u
  
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Normpo
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Re: Out of It (which has u and I in it)
Reply #5 - Mar 2nd, 2006 at 7:50pm
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Whew!
  
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Cyn
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Re: Out of It (which has u and I in it)
Reply #4 - Mar 2nd, 2006 at 7:48pm
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not hurt in the least. Jokin with ya
  
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Normpo
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Re: Out of It (which has u and I in it)
Reply #3 - Mar 2nd, 2006 at 3:44pm
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Cyn,

Let me try to explain >>> "inspired" may not be the correct word here. When I read, hear or see something that "sparks my synapses",  I think in terms of, "Is there are a 'Norm" poem in this somewhere. In the case of your "Blue Shoes" poem, the word "scar" was so uniquely used (by your genius ~smile~) and I also saw the word "car" in it --- that's just the way my mind thinks. Then I thought of the most commonly known "scar" on a tree (the love etchings in a heart) and your poem became a springboard for what you see here in my poem. It is not a "response" but rather a thought of what grew out of several readings of your poem. It is NOT an extension, interpretation or commentary on your fine poem. My poetry is constantly inspired by what I read.

I certainly hope you are not hurt by the way I manipulated your "story" into a poem of my own that in no way attempts to pontificate on what your poem is "saying".

Norm

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Gak, my poem inspired THIS!!!!! 

You have a weird sense of humor Norm it is not NORMal.

Cyn

« Last Edit: Mar 2nd, 2006 at 7:50pm by Normpo »  
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alanmdouglas
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Re: Out of It (which has u and I in it)
Reply #2 - Mar 2nd, 2006 at 9:03am
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Dear Norm,

This is so quirky that itdefies crit, but one Q :

Bearing in mind the he and she in the 2nd, should not this line in the first :

your automobile did not. 

be "her" too, rather than "your" ?

Quirky, but also extraordinarily clever ....

Love
Alan
  
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