Quote:


Not easy for me to "critique" something I like, but here's an effort -- up to my nekk in the trekk.

 
 

can i get that on barnes and ignoble?

Quote:

Nahh.
It just linked itseff to me somehow. (wot's a cahin, anyway? hee hee)

Thanks for the "OUR age" remark. Coming up Tuesday, I'll have 7 years on ye, my chile. Yikes, does that sound terribul.

You're right about loosening the lobelets in our brains, though, and getting out of the strict prose path now and then helps. These little cahins you're talking about are EXcellent EXercise, especially when the cells want to get grayer by the day.
Love ye.

Oh. Ask Keith about Weebles when you get to it.

In response to Norm's Huitain (posted elsewhere):
Quote:


Here's mine:

You’re free so as to be unbound 
and very able to expound 
how you prefer poetic form 
but those restraints I feel are not 
the ropes that make my shy muse knot;
instead the hesitance I’ve got
relates to too much caution. Let the   
daring ones go first. I’ll wait. That’s me.

I'm so glad I found this forum...thank you Daniel



Melt

She poured herself as liquid gold
Within the aching folds of night
to trickle warm ‘pon bitter cold
to melt the slice of winters breath
She danced as flame within his sight
a fire that whispered from the deep
their secret love then took to flight 
within the breathing kiss of sleep

© Sasha '06

Huitain is a French verse form of an 8-line stanza with 8 or 10 syllables in each line, often iambic. It is written with three rhymes, one utilized twice (in four lines). The form evidently was popular in France in the 15th and early 16th centuries with such poets as François Villon and Clément Marot.

There are many variations in rhyme scheme, such as ababbcbc and abbaacac, so almost any combination of three rhymes with one used twice is acceptable.  

Un huitain enlace is an enclosed huitain which has a rhyme scheme: aabaabcc.


Here are two examples of my own more laid-back version of un huitain enlace:


Huitain Puzzle

Some poets are hobbled with stricture;
but pacing yourself can help pick your
precisely-voiced sound in the words.
huitains could again be a fixture;
you’ve eight lines for painting a picture
restored from French countryside sherds.
So piece them together with patience,
if only to rid your frustrations.

© MLee Dickens'son 31 Jan 2005


it’shuit to be a cat

An outside cat can make a mess
inside your house, it seems, unless
you let it out each time it asks
to run about and more or less
do what it wants. Then it will bless
its servant, in whose smile it basks;
so long as there’s sufficient food
and room to rest… all will be good.

© MLee Dickens'son 08 March 2004


Now... enjoy experimenting with the form.  Maybe we can revive it!