Daniel,

I decided to push this, kicking and screamiing, into the Firebox.

writer

Wow...

Wish you could have left them, Penelope!

How are you doing in your ventures?  Where are they to be published?

I do hope that you'll continue workshopping with us; we've missed you!

deLighting to see your name, Daniel 

Lin's posting in Firebox propmted me to try this. Note that I chose a more sedate car in which to display my initial effort. However, I do believe it will not be my last run at a villanelle.

I WONDER

I wonder. Could I write a villanelle
that might resemble something when it’s done
like others have constructed very well

instead of something with a pungent smell?
Playing with new forms is always fun.
I wonder. Could I write a villanelle?

The measured rhythm…I can mostly tell 
right off if I am on a even run
like others have constructed very well

with images and do they all excel
and build into a verse that I won’t shun? 
I wonder. Could I write a villanelle?

If I succeed my hubris might just swell
and some will look and say that I wrote one
like others have constructed very well.

This far along I guess I can dispel 
the doubts I had when I had first begun.
I wonder. Could I write a villanelle
like others have constructed very well?

writer

One I wrote long ago:

To W. E. Henley

A wretched thing's the villanelle.
Not only are its lines inane,
it does not serve my purpose well.

You say it is a silver bell?
Its awkward gong drives me insane!
A wretched thing's the villanelle.

Although I struggle to excel,
and search each corner of my brain,
it does not serve my purpose well.

It forces rhyme I cannot quell,
it states, too often, its refrain--
A wretched thing's the villanelle.

Let better poets weave a spell.
But for this reason, I abstain.
It does not serve my purpose well.

Bear with me, friend, and I will tell
You one more time why I complain,
a wretched thing's the villanelle,
It does not serve my purpose well.

Penelope,

Thanks for sharing, those are great. I especially like the monkey one, but I am partial having two of my own!  

Diane

The Chinese celebrate the New Year with gusto!  I lived in Vancouver Canada for thirty years and worked with many Chinese.  At their New Year - many of them took time off to enjoy the festivities.   

I've done both the Ram and the Monkey.  I'll post them both here if you like.

Windblown Dust and Apathy


I sit and sadly watch this fallow field
blow in the wind.  It does no good to sigh
and wonder what unplanted crops will yield

when next year's fruits are, from today, concealed.
Our only time is now...I wonder why
I sit and sadly watch this fallow field,

the blood from recent wounds not yet congealed
upon my too-weak limbs.  I scan the sky
and wonder what unplanted crops will yield.

In cloudless blue, no signs of rain revealed
to quench this ground: no seed, no signs to scry...
I sit and sadly watch this fallow field,

too long untended; like these scars, unhealed,
and stiff from long disuse. How vain, to cry
and wonder what unplanted crops will yield.

How like my soul, the land has been annealed...
too hard for plow, and I, too tired to try...
I sit and sadly watch this fallow field
and wonder what unplanted crops will yield.

©  MMII by eric lee

Just_Daniel wrote on Jan 4^th, 2007 at 2:15pm:


Same line length will be my next attempt...this was my fourth.

thanks sir,
~tim