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tanka ~ FOM Sept/Oct 08 (Read 447 times)

Just_Daniel Topic Starter Supreme Member Offline Slow down; things will go faster. ~ djr Posts: 8989 Location: South West New Jersey Joined: Aug 2^nd, 2003	re-membered Reply #26 - Apr 11^th, 2012 at 12:53pm	Print Post
	^re-membered remember: days when you ran with the wind they have passed away like your knees _{© MLee Dickens'son 2012}


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Just_Daniel Topic Starter Supreme Member Offline Slow down; things will go faster. ~ djr Posts: 8989 Location: South West New Jersey Joined: Aug 2^nd, 2003	a tanka series Reply #25 - Oct 14^th, 2008 at 5:13pm	Print Post
	Bread to Chew On You have seen me and yet do not believe; I am the Bread come from heaven to fill those whom I’ll raise in the end. I will never lose any whom the Father gives who behold me and fully trust in me; each one remains in Our hand. (How does He say, “I have come down from heaven” ? We know his parents.) I am the Bread of Life… all who digest this shall live. He who believes has lasting life in me; I’m the Bread of Life Your fathers ate manna and dies; eat this Bread and live. Merely mouthing questions seek no answer; murmuring darkens reflections before the eye visible only with Light. Murmuring queries expecting no answer cast long shadows that keep eyes from reflecting on what would be clear in Light. _{© MLee Dickens'son 05 Oct 2008 meditating on John 6:37-59}
	« Last Edit: Oct 14^th, 2008 at 5:16pm by Just_Daniel »

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WildCityWoman Supreme Member Offline Yeah - me again! Still rockin'! Posts: 4415 Location: Toronto, Canada Joined: Sep 19^th, 2003	Re: Tanka - Writing Metaphors Reply #24 - Sep 25^th, 2008 at 10:02am	Print Post
	Normpo wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2008 at 2:44pm: Writing Metaphors Writing metaphors with a fast-paced rhythm and beat often makes one pause. Mount my onjis...hold on tight; we’ll do creative riding. I think what's throwing it off is you're counting 'rhythm' as being 1 syllable. Take out the 'a' and it will work to a 7.


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WildCityWoman Supreme Member Offline Yeah - me again! Still rockin'! Posts: 4415 Location: Toronto, Canada Joined: Sep 19^th, 2003	Re: All from Nothing Reply #23 - Sep 25^th, 2008 at 10:00am	Print Post
	Just_Daniel wrote on Mar 31^st, 2004 at 3:29pm: a wonderful snapshot of a rekindling flame, Norm! Here's one I scribbled out [ or should I say created? ] in church last month: All from Nothing In the beginning God made all out of nothing ~ the heavens and Earth; then Earth was formless, empty, darkness covering the deep. His Spirit hovered over the waters… then God by His Word brought forth the Light proclaiming, The Light is good, separated from darkness. © Daniel J Ricketts 21 Feb 2004 from Genesis 1 I thought it was a wonderful way to use Tanka! I'm not a big church goer, but I found this very poignant (to use a words that's almost a cliche).


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Just_Daniel Topic Starter Supreme Member Offline Slow down; things will go faster. ~ djr Posts: 8989 Location: South West New Jersey Joined: Aug 2^nd, 2003	Re: tanka ~ F.O.M. Sept/Oct 2008 Reply #22 - Sep 22^nd, 2008 at 11:36pm	Print Post
	Super place to go, Poppy. I was just looking there today. I know that you note that the line-length and syllable count are not so important as we first 'learn'... and that the most important aspect of the form is to find a vivid impression of an evocative moment in time. deLighting in your sharing, Daniel


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Poppy Supreme Member Offline The Little Red Caboose Posts: 1006 Location: Baton Rouge, Louisiana Joined: Aug 13^th, 2003	Re: tanka ~ F.O.M. Sept/Oct 2008 Reply #21 - Sep 22^nd, 2008 at 10:40pm	Print Post
	Here is a link that has some examples of Tanka... from American Tanka
	« Last Edit: Sep 22^nd, 2008 at 11:32pm by Just_Daniel »

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Just_Daniel Topic Starter Supreme Member Offline Slow down; things will go faster. ~ djr Posts: 8989 Location: South West New Jersey Joined: Aug 2^nd, 2003	We've met afore! Reply #20 - Sep 22^nd, 2008 at 3:05pm	Print Post
	Hey, Norm... Your metaphor give me a pause! I like it... and of course I would love to see this in the Short Line for crit! deLighting in your jumping into the FOM and sharing so quickly, Daniel P.S. Sorry for my being so late in posting the F.O.M.!!
	« Last Edit: Sep 22^nd, 2008 at 3:05pm by Just_Daniel »

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Normpo Forum Administrator Offline Posts: 10830 Joined: Aug 2^nd, 2003	Tanka - Writing Metaphors Reply #19 - Sep 22^nd, 2008 at 2:44pm	Print Post
	Writing Metaphors Writing metaphors with a fast-paced rhythm and beat often makes one pause. Mount my onjis...hold on tight; we’ll do creative riding.


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Just_Daniel Topic Starter Supreme Member Offline Slow down; things will go faster. ~ djr Posts: 8989 Location: South West New Jersey Joined: Aug 2^nd, 2003	tanka you, Poppy! Reply #18 - Sep 19^th, 2008 at 4:16pm	Print Post
	Poppy... I'd LOVE to see these posted for CRIT in SHORT FORMS. I know that we'd have a wonderful discussion there. We have a number of other folks, as you say, experimenting with the shorties! I love the ideas you have here, my friend! deLightingly, Daniel


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Poppy Supreme Member Offline The Little Red Caboose Posts: 1006 Location: Baton Rouge, Louisiana Joined: Aug 13^th, 2003	Re: tanka ~ FOM May 07 Reply #17 - Sep 18^th, 2008 at 11:29pm	Print Post
	Here are some of my old tanka poems, some good, some not so good. Not all follow the exact syllable count, but I was experimenting. Deception You whisper yes as I look deep in your eyes there in the dusk and see a dark cloud cloaking a cold bright moon Go softly, or else a star may pin your shadow to the garden pool, and Dawn should wake to find you standing where you are. I’m a tiny seed, but in my husk there dwells the strength to grow into mankind’s desire for a tree. Silent is the rain— so silent one needs to squint to hear its whispers on the rooftop spring fields— where dreams gather like butterflies and visions flutter their wings winter begins every year on my birthday— I bend with time and gentleness like palm trees sway amid heavy gusts of wind


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davidf Supreme Member Offline I love YaBB 1G - SP1! Posts: 1158 Joined: Oct 25^th, 2007	Re: tanka ~ FOM May 07 Reply #16 - Jun 20^th, 2008 at 3:38am	Print Post
	Queen Anne's Lace flower standing tall at attention all other flowers bow their heads respectfully Mother Nature is not fooled. ~Davidf (I posted this in Short Line too, for further critique)


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Just_Daniel Topic Starter Supreme Member Offline Slow down; things will go faster. ~ djr Posts: 8989 Location: South West New Jersey Joined: Aug 2^nd, 2003	NYC Bus to Montclair Reply #15 - Apr 14^th, 2008 at 1:49pm	Print Post
	NYC Bus to Montclair tunnel Lincoln us back to neighborhoods that sleep with a sports complex heads spinning as the meadows flush out childhood memories _{© MLee Dickens'son 12 Apr 2008}
	« Last Edit: Apr 15^th, 2008 at 9:55am by Just_Daniel »

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Just_Daniel Topic Starter Supreme Member Offline Slow down; things will go faster. ~ djr Posts: 8989 Location: South West New Jersey Joined: Aug 2^nd, 2003	Stich a Wile Reply #14 - May 17^th, 2007 at 9:35pm	Print Post
	Stich a Wile eyes carefully cut to piece rows for their color; stuff them with new warmth stitching them right to the edge to hang them up off the wall © MLee Dickens'son 17 May 2007 to Rene’s While Searching


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Just_Daniel Topic Starter Supreme Member Offline Slow down; things will go faster. ~ djr Posts: 8989 Location: South West New Jersey Joined: Aug 2^nd, 2003	vacation glaze Reply #13 - May 14^th, 2007 at 1:59pm	Print Post
	vacation glaze spent the day in bed; got caught up with CSI and NCIS then I even watched Jordan and CSI M & NY -djr 14 May 2007
	« Last Edit: May 14^th, 2007 at 2:01pm by Just_Daniel »

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Just_Daniel Topic Starter Supreme Member Offline Slow down; things will go faster. ~ djr Posts: 8989 Location: South West New Jersey Joined: Aug 2^nd, 2003	From Mile-High Denver...at the Airport... Reply #12 - May 13^th, 2007 at 5:39am	Print Post
	...visiting the Train will be here three hours, eight hundred miles, plus one up from San Diego; two thousand more to Philly a mere six hours... then one home _{- djr 12 May 2007}
	« Last Edit: Sep 22^nd, 2008 at 3:14pm by Just_Daniel »

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