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Very Hot Topic (More than 25 Replies) Rictameter ~ FOM July 07 (Read 325 times)
Just_Daniel
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well done...
Reply #25 - Jul 12th, 2007 at 12:30pm
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Ah... and such a poignant arrow in your quiver, Doug!

As the Lord said to the aging welder, 

"Weld on, thou good and faithful servant; enter into the joy of thy Lord."

deLightingly, Daniel  8)


P.S.  I do think this might be more effective without the boldface and without each line capitalized, which to me is very distracting from the flow of a rictameter ( and so far as I know, there is no ancient historical precedent for doing so ? )... perhaps both my own personal prejucices, of course.  Grin

Maybe revisited something like this:
Quote:
One Act Play
 
distant
clouds gathering
as if to watch a play—
My Quivery Life, on exhibit
in-the-round in high-def digital sound
From the Portico of Heaven
front row baclony seats
view a tragic
show of
smiles


« Last Edit: Jul 12th, 2007 at 12:48pm by Just_Daniel »  
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D. Allen Jenkins
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One Act Play
Reply #24 - Jul 9th, 2007 at 3:46pm
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One Act Play

Distant
clouds now gather,
as if to watch a play—
My Quivery Life; on exhibit
in the round, in high-def, digital sound—
from the balconies of heaven’s
portico; front row seats
to a tragic
show of
smiles.

© D. Allen Jenkins
     
« Last Edit: Jul 13th, 2007 at 4:59am by D. Allen Jenkins »  
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Just_Daniel
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Norm, Diane...
Reply #23 - Feb 26th, 2007 at 11:17pm
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I'm Glad

I'm glad
to know that we
may get some time to sense
that we surpass the words we find
to dribble on a screen or scruffy pad
though it's not bad that's what we do
'cause if my wholesome piece
adds to your peace
I'm glad


© MLee Dickens'son 26 Feb 2007
« Last Edit: Mar 3rd, 2007 at 5:30pm by Just_Daniel »  
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Normpo
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Re: Rictameter
Reply #22 - Feb 26th, 2007 at 11:02pm
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absoluetly correct, Daniel --- you'll meet Diane in April.

Norm
  
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diehard
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evolving always

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Re: Rictameter
Reply #21 - Feb 26th, 2007 at 10:25pm
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cool.

and
 
most likely

correct
  
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Just_Daniel
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diane...
Reply #20 - Feb 26th, 2007 at 10:13pm
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diane
there's no perhaps
about  r i c t a m e t e r
with this iambic feat of yours;
it is a paramount example, too,
of sensitivity that wants
a soul to understand
what happens in
diane
  
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diehard
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Rictameter (maybe)
Reply #19 - Feb 26th, 2007 at 9:46pm
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I'm pooped
 
I’m tired   
 
you understand 
because you’ve been there too 
I’m sure; except that each of us 
experiences “weary” different ways. 
So that to say you’re tired may not 
mean quite the same as when 
you hear me say 
 
“I’m tired” 
  
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Just_Daniel
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Marriage...
Reply #18 - Feb 26th, 2007 at 4:26pm
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Marriage

Marriage
is more than words
sealed with a ring and kiss
solemnized, witnessed by good friends
who celebrate with tossed rice and dancing;
it's an hour-by-hour commitment
for hand to share with heart
while both flesh out
marriage


© MLee Dickens'son 26 Feb 2007
« Last Edit: Mar 3rd, 2007 at 5:20pm by Just_Daniel »  
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Just_Daniel
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Up Tuit?
Reply #17 - Feb 7th, 2007 at 4:41pm
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Up Tuit?

this climb
could be folly
if you go ill-prepared
scalin' rictameter mountin'
two steps at a time temptin' a brain freeze
that makes ya sore down the back side
touchin' nothin' but air;
best to avoid
this clime


© MLee Dickens’son 06 Feb 2007
« Last Edit: Feb 7th, 2007 at 11:06pm by Just_Daniel »  
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Just_Daniel
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RICTAM'TER (acrostic)
Reply #16 - May 6th, 2005 at 10:45am
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Glad to see you Dipping Big into the form, Norm!



RICTAM’TER


response

in graphic verse

creating diamond shape

to focus reader on one thought

about whatever’s in the poet’s mind

meticulously shaped and phrased


‘til writer’s satisfied

each word is his

response



© Daniel J Ricketts 04 May 2005
« Last Edit: Feb 7th, 2007 at 4:38pm by Just_Daniel »  
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Normpo
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Alcor - Mizar
Reply #15 - Feb 19th, 2004 at 4:22am
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Alcor - Mizar 
 
My love, 
When you’d left me, 
I'd always reach and grab 
a slice of moon and hold it close. 
For all those years, I’d roll the stars like dice, 
and place my bet on Big Dipper. 
I dreamed I'd see us there: 
Alcor – Mizar, 
my love


© Norman S. Pollack
  
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Just_Daniel
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Salem...
Reply #14 - Nov 24th, 2003 at 12:01am
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Quote:
*bumps*

Yes, it is in here, it didn't disappear...

Salem

Looks like both you and Jess have been busy!  I hope you'll both watch out for this forum in my absence, catching up with paperwork at my job and then the operation when I won't even be here for a while.  I don't even have time to read all of Jess' entries right now!  Waaaaaa

Keep 'im honest, will ya?

deLightedly, Daniel  8)

While I'm here, here's one I wrote today:

Death’s Blind Faith

“No Death?”
Eye’d move away
to sense reel life… apart
from God, who’d better save His Breath.
No guilt… I’d feel exhilaration’s thrill to fly
on eagle’s wing… then realized
too late… without His wind
I’m fallin’… Oh
no!
 Death.


© Daniel J Ricketts 23 Nov 2003
« Last Edit: Feb 26th, 2007 at 10:04pm by Just_Daniel »  
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silkenlightning
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Re: Rictameter
Reply #13 - Nov 23rd, 2003 at 11:22pm
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*bumps*

Yes, it is in here, it didn't disappear...

Salem
  
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Just_Daniel
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Dolly...
Reply #12 - Oct 27th, 2003 at 2:55pm
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Thanks muchly, Dolly!  Yes, I recall your pottery!

I hope you don't mind that I think I'll change Line 6?

potter
reshapes his earth
immersing his spirit
into every nuance of touch
sometimes leaving inexplicable marks
unmerciful wheel spins questions
seemingly pointlessly
who controls this
potter

© Daniel J Ricketts 26 Oct 2003

sLightly dizzy, Daniel  8)
« Last Edit: Feb 26th, 2007 at 10:03pm by Just_Daniel »  
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Merrimuse
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Re: Rictameter
Reply #11 - Oct 27th, 2003 at 11:29am
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Oh My, Daniel,

Do you remember I have a pottery collection?  I LOVE this poem!!  My favorite one yet!

This one is definitely a KEEPER!   Grin

Blessings,
Dolly   Wink
  
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