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Just_Daniel
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oops!
Reply #6 - Apr 10th, 2006 at 12:43am
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Wasn't ignorin' ya, Norm.  Jes' didn't see yer response.  This isn't a new one, but I did a bit of revision before I posted it on another site, so I thought I'd post it here as well, since I'd not done so before.  I wrote it a couple of years ago; I just added the original date, though it was revised last month.  

My favorite, however is my Purple Owl piece above, even though it isn't really a paradelle.   Embarrassed I'd made a mistake on that one, playing with different line lengths, so I just added an excra stanza to use all the words.  Wink Didn't wanna just toss it!  Grin

stammerin' Lightly, Daniel  8)
« Last Edit: Apr 10th, 2006 at 12:46am by Just_Daniel »  
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Normpo
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Re: Paradelle
Reply #5 - Apr 1st, 2006 at 5:16pm
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Whoa, Daniel! Is this a new piece? This form (and the Sestina) are my nightmares. I've only written two of each --- an as far as THEY are concerned, that will probably be my career effort -- period!

You get a gold star from me -- this is so good.

Norm
  
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Just_Daniel
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averse in silence
Reply #4 - Mar 22nd, 2006 at 6:17pm
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averse in silence

He sits here all alone
he sits here all alone
and stares upon his verse
and stares upon his verse
Alone he stares upon 
all verse… and here his sits

No one to read it back
no one to read it back
but Silence, squirming now
but Silence, squirming now
Butt-squirming silence reads
it back to no one now

It does not make much sense
it does not make much sense
yet who would e’er know so
yet who would e’er know so
Whoe’er makes so much sense
could know it, yet does not

No squirming now would make
his stares to read it back
and he who does so much
knows silence, e’er alone
All sense upon butt sits
It hears not one verse yet

© MLee Dickens'son 27 Nov 2004
« Last Edit: Apr 10th, 2006 at 12:45am by Just_Daniel »  
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Just_Daniel
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Re: Paradelle
Reply #3 - Aug 5th, 2003 at 2:28pm
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YaBB-Developer wrote on Aug 5th, 2003 at 4:11am:
Daniel

That was amazing and FAST

It took me days to fine tune mine.  And, you know how I struggle with these strict forms anyway -- I'm too much of a rebel to be squished into some mold I guess.

You a rebel?  What about me?! 

You'll undoubtedly see that I have recklessly 'adulterated' yet another poetic form here, 'cause mine ain't the love poem that this historically is!  And my variation adds a fourth to the three repeating stanzas.  And the fifth stanza has only 4 lines.  And I wrote the first in dimeter, the second in trimeter, the third in tetrameter, the fourth in pentameter, and the fifth in septameter.  Will I now be executed? *smile* 

I know I get carried away sometimes, but must it now be carried away in a pine box to an unmarked grave?


Thanks for trying one and tossing it out here for us to enjoy!

Mary

Well, I enjoyed it!  I hope you don't toss it out! *smile*  I think that it at least captures the essence of the form?  Ya think?

P.S.  Notification systems are still down -- I know you rely on those with your busy schedule.  Hopefully the host will get the upgrade on their mailserver completed soon.

Actually, I hadn't discovered the feature yet.  Could you point me in that direction?  You know how slow I am at learning technicalities!  Remember my first private attempt at a sonnet (a bit over 150 ago) ?


in deLight, Daniel  8)
« Last Edit: May 12th, 2008 at 9:21pm by Just_Daniel »  
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Shanti
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Re: Paradelle
Reply #2 - Aug 5th, 2003 at 4:11am
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Daniel

That was amazing and FAST

It took me days to fine tune mine.  And, you know how I struggle with these strict forms anyway -- I'm too much of a rebel to be squished into some mold I guess.

Thanks for trying one and tossing it out here for us to enjoy!

Mary

P.S.  Notification systems are still down -- I know you rely no those with your busy schedule.  Hopefully the host will get the upgrade on their mailserver completed soon.
  
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Just_Daniel
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I Soar a Purple Owl
Reply #1 - Aug 4th, 2003 at 2:07pm
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Ok, Mary, you asked for it!  Never heard o' this beastie before!  I read a couple others elsewhere and then dreamed this one up . . . or should I say "nightmared"?

I Soar a Purple Owl

Anchor is set
Anchor is set
to drift in dreams
to drift in dreams
Anchor in dreams
is set to drift.

A softer blue awaits
A softer blue awaits
with billowed white and gray
with billowed white and gray
And gray with blue awaits
a billowed, softer white.

But now the light bursts forth in red
But now the light bursts forth in red
on purple, pink and owl wings spread
on purple, pink and owl wings spread
The owl bursts forth in purple light
on wings spread red, and now but pink

Awake, asleep, I know not which I am
Awake, asleep, I know not which I am
and here on silent sea, who gives a hoot?
and here on silent sea, who gives a hoot?
I know I am a who . . . on silent sea . . .
awake? asleep?  Which gives a hoot?  Not here!

I spread gray wings to drift in dreams . . . a wake on silent sea
and know in here and now . . . but which? . . . is anchor set on red?
The light bursts forth a softer blue with billowed white and pink.
Am I not Purple Owl who gives a hoot, awaits a sleep?

© Daniel J Ricketts 04 August 2003


Post script:

I soar a purple owl!
I’s waked a cripple duck . . .
I saw a purple owl?
Eyes waked . . . a cripple duck!
« Last Edit: Mar 22nd, 2006 at 6:19pm by Just_Daniel »  
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Shanti
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Paradelle
Aug 2nd, 2003 at 2:37pm
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Paradelle

The paradelle is a very difficiult French form of poetry that has very strict repetition throughout the poem.

There are a total of four 6-line stanzas, with the last stanza being a summation of all that come before it.  

Set up for the first three stanzas:

Line one --  a new line
Line two -- repeat line one
Line three -- a new line
Line four -- repeat line three
Lines five and six -- use all of the words from lines one and three.

Set up for Final stanza --

Use all of the words contained in the first three stanzas.


I've found them quite a challange to write.  Here is one of mine as an example, color-coded for you to follow the set-up:


A Paradelle of Winged Flight

Twilight falls, darkness cover me
Twilight falls, darkness cover me
as gentle slumber lures awakening dreams
as gentle slumber lures awakening dreams
cover me gentle twilight, darkness lures dreams,
awakening, as slumber falls. 

Journey on celelstial wings through astral visions
Journey on celelstial wings through astral visions
and hover above earth-bound limitations
and hover above earth-bound limitations
on celestial wings, hover above earth bound limitations
and journey through astral visions.

Explore the expansiveness of self,
Explore the expansiveness of self, 
look within and discover your untapped wealth
look within and discover your untapped wealth

look within the expansiveness of self,
discover and explore your untapped wealth.

cover me, dreams look within darkness 
journey -- discover your gentle awakening;
slumber lures the expansiveness of self 
through astral visions.  Hover above 
earthbound limitations on celestial wings, 
and as twilight falls, explore wealth -- untapped.

Copyright © 2003 Mary Ellen Clark
« Last Edit: Jul 27th, 2009 at 10:20pm by Just_Daniel »  
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